Evolution

From R. Crutch:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

I don't want to work today

... I just want to bang on my drum.

THE OFFICE

Holly cannot leave. She simply cannot. She makes Michael such a better person, makes him bearable, makes him AWESOME and they are FUCKING IN LOVE.

DO NOT MESS WITH ME I AM VERY COMMITTED TO THIS

CONSIDER

Ladies and gentlemen, I urge you to consider the following.

MASTURBATE

That is all

I don't post enough

I don't post enough in this and for that I apologize.

Also, when I DO post invariably it might lead some of you readers to expect that somehow, Viet has gone insane and is just going far off the deep end into Joker-esque mad runs of insanity.

While this is true, I would like to clarify.

Fact is, things have been busy, life has been busy, and if you've ever known a writer in your life you will know that ironically the one thing that writers hate most to do, is actually write. Writing seems to be a nice excuse to say "I would rather be doing something interesting, rather than doing what you would like me to do, but I will tell you an AWESOME story about it later if you let me do this awesome thing". This, and I imagine this is the case for a great many writers, is how I think and it is largely why I accomplish so very little in terms of actual work.

But I wanted to give an account of how things have ACTUALLY been going as opposed to whatever frighteningly mad thought that courses through my brain at that very moment when I would like to rhetorically burn an opponent into the ground on a forum that would most likely get me banned.

So, has anyone heard about warhammer?

First off, frigging awesome.
Second off, fucking nerf bright wizards already the bright wizard wall is so fucking powerful it's not even funny
Third off: Remake Wow, create a pvp focused game with a good idea for balance, and voila!

Somebody has angered Gork greatly

This is my most recent and beloved time sink. Though it is not very productive.

But I wanted to say reader that, frankly, I've not had a lot of time to like, talk or think, or even have time to get my thoughts together. My time is occupied.

By a lot of meaningless tripeshit, yes, but also by keeping myself informed and up to date on ye news events and the impending destruction of the world and Rachel Maddow (thank god in heaven). And between all these things I'm sorry reader, that I haven't been writing as often as I should. I still love you baby, I do! It's just hard, we don't have enough time to write anymore. Especially ever since you went to Lithuania.

Why baby, why did you leave me for that goat? He'll never love you like I did! ...sadly, ineffecably, in thirty seconds with a lot of crying afterwards.

Baby come back from Lithuania!

*wink*

(good lord I just pulled a Palin)

I will never sexually assault you again, reader, but suffice to say, things are alright.

Will be topic based later. This is my blog, I get to be as crazy as I want.

I've been okay, This America Life is awesome. Really tired and procrastinating, Warhammer is good. Why is it I can't write properly?